Call me Sueyi.
Call me Sue-Sue.
Call me Sue.
Just don't call me lil fry.

A 19 yr old :

Finding her niche in the passionate world of white coats and stethoscopes.

Missing Malaysian food so badly, that she drowns her sorrow by surfing food blogs.

Who watches scary movies only with friends who have high pain threshold (from all that pinching)

Who has very cold extremities, ask my stimulated patients, oops sorry, "simulated patients"

Who loves a good laugh with candid, thick-skinned friends

Who cannot stay surrounded by 4 walls for more than a few hours

Who loves her loved ones so so much


shout outs

endless wishes

char siew bao.

blueberry muffins.

hot Milo and crackers.

a neverending supply of Daddy's socks.

Bear hugs. Warm kisses. Lots of Love.

My own beach chalet.

Bubble baths.

Shining sun and rainbows.

Sexy stilettos.



I wear socks.Even with heels.

I play with my earlobes.

I have a Mongolian mole.

My family means the world to me. "Family means no one gets left behind"

I like cheekiness. You cheeky, me cheeky.

I heart my close friends, the ones who know me in and out, the ones who've grown with me.


July 1, 2007

July 8, 2007

July 15, 2007

July 22, 2007

July 29, 2007

August 5, 2007

August 12, 2007

August 19, 2007

August 26, 2007

September 2, 2007

September 9, 2007

September 16, 2007

September 23, 2007

September 30, 2007

October 7, 2007

October 14, 2007

October 21, 2007

October 28, 2007

November 4, 2007

November 11, 2007

November 18, 2007

November 25, 2007

December 2, 2007

December 9, 2007

December 16, 2007

December 23, 2007

January 6, 2008

January 13, 2008

January 20, 2008

January 27, 2008

February 3, 2008

February 10, 2008

February 17, 2008

February 24, 2008

March 2, 2008

March 9, 2008

March 16, 2008

March 23, 2008

March 30, 2008

April 6, 2008

April 13, 2008

April 20, 2008

April 27, 2008

May 4, 2008

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May 25, 2008

June 1, 2008

June 8, 2008

June 15, 2008

June 22, 2008

June 29, 2008

July 6, 2008

July 13, 2008

July 20, 2008

July 27, 2008

August 3, 2008

August 10, 2008

August 17, 2008

August 24, 2008

August 31, 2008

September 7, 2008

September 14, 2008

September 28, 2008

October 5, 2008

October 12, 2008

October 19, 2008

October 26, 2008

November 2, 2008

November 9, 2008

November 16, 2008

November 23, 2008

November 30, 2008

December 7, 2008

December 14, 2008

December 21, 2008

December 28, 2008

January 4, 2009

January 11, 2009

January 18, 2009

January 25, 2009

February 1, 2009

February 8, 2009

February 15, 2009

February 22, 2009

March 1, 2009

March 8, 2009

March 15, 2009

March 22, 2009

March 29, 2009

April 5, 2009

April 12, 2009

April 19, 2009

April 26, 2009

May 3, 2009

May 10, 2009

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May 24, 2009

May 31, 2009

June 7, 2009

June 14, 2009

June 21, 2009

June 28, 2009

July 5, 2009

July 12, 2009

July 19, 2009

July 26, 2009

August 2, 2009

August 9, 2009

August 16, 2009

August 23, 2009

August 30, 2009

September 6, 2009

September 13, 2009

September 20, 2009

October 4, 2009

October 11, 2009

October 18, 2009

October 25, 2009

November 1, 2009

November 8, 2009

November 22, 2009

November 29, 2009

December 6, 2009

December 13, 2009

December 20, 2009

January 31, 2010

February 28, 2010

March 14, 2010

March 21, 2010

March 28, 2010

April 4, 2010

May 9, 2010

May 23, 2010

May 30, 2010

June 6, 2010

July 11, 2010

July 18, 2010

July 25, 2010

August 1, 2010

August 8, 2010

August 15, 2010

August 22, 2010

August 29, 2010

September 5, 2010

September 26, 2010

October 3, 2010

October 10, 2010

October 17, 2010

October 24, 2010

October 31, 2010

November 7, 2010

November 14, 2010

November 21, 2010

November 28, 2010

December 5, 2010

December 19, 2010

December 26, 2010

January 9, 2011

January 16, 2011

January 23, 2011

February 13, 2011

February 20, 2011

February 27, 2011

March 6, 2011

March 13, 2011

March 20, 2011

April 3, 2011

April 10, 2011

April 24, 2011

May 15, 2011

May 22, 2011

May 29, 2011

June 5, 2011

June 19, 2011

July 10, 2011

July 17, 2011

July 24, 2011

July 31, 2011

August 7, 2011

August 14, 2011

August 28, 2011

September 4, 2011

September 11, 2011

September 18, 2011

September 25, 2011

October 2, 2011

October 16, 2011

October 23, 2011

October 30, 2011

November 6, 2011

November 13, 2011

November 20, 2011

January 8, 2012

January 29, 2012

February 5, 2012

March 11, 2012

March 18, 2012

March 25, 2012

July 8, 2012

July 22, 2012

August 5, 2012

August 12, 2012

September 2, 2012

September 16, 2012

September 30, 2012

October 7, 2012

October 14, 2012

October 21, 2012

October 28, 2012

November 11, 2012

September 8, 2013

September 29, 2013

January 5, 2014

February 2, 2014

and when she speaks

Monday, February 03, 2014

MOVING to suesuemanis2.blogspot.com

12:19 PM;;

Sunday, January 05, 2014

11:42 AM;;

11:38 AM;;

Saturday, October 05, 2013

On call. And reminded why I love doing what I do. 

My patients wife called me frantically this am. I got them into the ER.

I walked in on them after morning rounds, she called my name out "Dr Lai, its so good to see you". I have to say, I havent seen them in months... 

Then after I met with my patient, his wife said she'd walk me out. Right outside his makeshift ED room, she embraced me in a big hug & kept on thanking me. 

Her desperation she explained was because their young teenage son was visiting, and she wanted her husband to be able to at least converse with her son, to not be confused. I understood now why she went through the lengths she did.

Well, we fixed it - and he was no longer confused, and he was fully oriented & alert :)

She and I remained outside his room, along the hallways of the emergency department- and we talked... we talked about his time left, on dying, on plans, on family. We bonded during that very brief moment whilst she gave me a glimpse of their relationship and allowed me into their lives.

My heart swelled as I listen. But I had to be strong and be the pillar for her as she deals with keeping her family strong. Then, she gave me one last big hug with tears in her eyes, and whispered 'thank you' to my ears. 

And this is why I deal with cancer. This is why I am in the field I chose.

9:22 AM;;

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Cancer doesn't choose. 

We see people from all walks of life, all positions of the hierarchical ladder socially and politically (since we're located in the heart of DC), young and old alike, people who have lived the "right way" eating healthily working out religiously, people whose jobs entail fighting for justice for the underprivileged righting wrongs - get cancer. We've all somewhere somehow know people close to us who have fought or are fighting battles with cancer. It doesn't choose, it just happens. 

But we did- we chose to enter this field, wholeheartedly. 

And as I see more in my field, I am more than ever glad to be able to serve these people- and their families, who fight with courage and grace, who look at life so differently and appreciate it the way we all should. 

Ending this on a more cheery note - CARPE diem<3

9:07 AM;;

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Dr Warren said to me the other day
"Sueyi, you're awfully subdued today. Are you feeling ok?" - with the most concerned face ever. 

I, on the other hand, couldn't tease out if that was for real or he was just jesting (lol).

This- from the attending who worked with me for 3 weeks straight on the roughest rotation in Heme/Onc ever, he's gotten to know me pretty well- well, who wouldn't if they worked with you from early morn til the evening every single day including the weekends? ;) LOL 

I laughed when he asked me that so my response WAS:  "Dr Warren! I don't know whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult!" - but I am sure part of his tease was to elicit a happy response from me. 

That's Dr Warren, amazing with his interpersonal skills. And always fooling around with me. 

Sometimes I think he treats me like a kid, and takes on a bit of a fatherly role to me, and sometimes, he's like a complete kid too. I remember last week, I was walking rather quickly, (actually VERY quickly)- and he was in front of my pathway, and he blocked me with his nurse, he moved from left to right, obviously causing an obstruction to my path. I just cracked up, cos it was like he was like a little ninja moving left to right to left again intentionally to block me. HAHAHA. 

My goodness! This is how we liven things up. Work is a fun place to be at!

12:13 AM;;

Friday, November 16, 2012

# 1: Patient's wife: "You have very good bedside manners. Don't ever lose them", and then she smiled at me. 

# 2: My patient whom I had followed since his first diagnosis, completing his 5th cycle of chemotherapy, who is a little rough on the edges and very loud (lol) but I heart him regardless. He reminds me of a gentle giant. After I was done with examining him- "Hey you (he calls me), you know what?" - to which I respond "No, what?" - then he exclaims "You are a good doctor, you know that?". I looked over to his wife, and I laughed. I laughed because of the tone he said it in, which was not subtle at all and was very direct (as-a-matter-of-fact tone), but so full of good intention. Then, I said to him "you made my morning!" Then, he laughed too :) 

#3: My old male patient I believe is in his 80s - also really loud in terms of his voice projection for which my boss warned me before I stepped into the room "Sueyi, be careful." I asked "Why?" 
- then he said "Cos they're loud". I laughed and said "I'm loud too!" So then, after I finished up my history and physical, and my attending had come in with me, he kept on calling me "nurse"- then after he called me "nurse" the 3rd time, his sister finally corrected him out of frustration (haha! I thought it was funny how she was frustrated for me :)) - She shouted "She's a DOCTOR!" 

Then, he looked at me, "Oh, oh, I'm so sorry, dear!". I laughed, "it's ok!"

-so yes. I always, always get mistaken for a nurse, or an intern. AND I'm already a fellow, for goodness' sake!-

Regardless of whether I have my glasses on OR off, I always get mistaken for being more junior, but that does not irk me at all- cos I am younger- but my trick is to pull off my "good Asian genes" excuse ;) :)

The other day, my 60-some year old female patient asked me, as soon as I stepped into the room for a new consultation- "How old are you??" 
I was taken aback at first, because I had only taken 2 steps into the room, and as soon as the door was shut, that question was directed to me. She persisted twice more. I then laughed at her determination to find out. The laughter did not distract her, unfortunately. I said "I don't tell my patients my age". She said 'Well, I am 68, so you can tell me your age now." I relented and said "I'm in my late 20s" (a bit of a white lie) Then she went "Ooooh, you look so good for your age". The Asian excuse did not really impress her. Then, I said it's my petite size, that's why I always look young. She said "No" and gave me a really funny response. My memory fails me now, for some reason. Then, I caved in when she wouldn't stop about my skin, my complexion etc... and so I finally said "Well, ok, I am in my mid 20s".

Then - she had one more say before we could focus on the important stuff. She said "Well, you look like you got it, girl". I had no clue what that meant, but she really did entertain me that day! 

-Yes, I love clinic. Actually I love bonding with my patients. Each and every one of them - they're all so different, in how they view life, how they react to their disease, how they reach out to you whether consciously or not, or how they hold back- each and every one of them have their own unique stories and unique ways of dealing with their diagnoses and with life- and I find fulfillment, in learning from their stories and sharing their experiences, and even more- when I am able to help them or provide support in any way I can, from any one brief conversation that I share with my patients. 

I truly heart my field. You know how people say oncology is too "touchy-feely" emotionally - I don't think that's necessarily true, but it is emotional, of course it is!! because having cancer brings with it a  whole bag of emotions. So I think what we do, is truly special, truly different- because no one can do a good job in oncology if they are not able to empathize and feel. That's where I think, we oncologists are a pretty darn special group of people, with a skill set that no one else has. We touch hearts, and are truly able to make a difference in that sense.

Lots of love,
Sue Sue

10:07 AM;;

Sunday, October 28, 2012

"What a waste if we don't strive to love in our lives? 
Why waste this life not loving?" 

This melted my heart, and so I thought I'd share this with people, so they too can share the love, and realize how beautiful it is to have the opportunity to give love, receive it and - even to lose it. 

And when you love, love unconditionally and wholeheartedly- even if it's a risk, because when it's true, real and reciprocated, it's the best feeling in the whole wide world :)

To love, and be loved :) 


2:59 AM;;