and when she speaks
Saturday, February 02, 2008
You tell me, what do you think? ;)The perceptions my patients have of me are in the two extremes...1."If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?""You look like you're in Grade 10-12 when I saw you outside!""Oh my, I thought you were a teenager!" 2.a) Whilst I was taking her blood pressure, I noticed her getting flushed and worried. True enough, she had high blood pressure. I asked her if she was nervous or upset, she said she just received a phone call from the school saying her teenage son got into trouble and will be suspended. Then, she asked me 'Do you have any teenagers of your own?'I was like *trying not to make it obvious that I'm OBVIOUSLY much TOO YOUNG to have TEENAGERS when I am barely out of my teens!* " No thank god not yet"b) I was doing well baby check-ups and we were discussing about the pain of breastfeeding when I think the mother must have felt I really identified with her when she curiously asked me 'Do you have your own kids too?'I was telling a friend I think my look is pretty versatile then. One moment, I can look like a kid and the next, like an old brinjal ;)SO, what do you think? ;)
her
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her ALIBIS
6:29 AM;;
Thursday, January 31, 2008
I shiver in chills and warmth at the same time, listening to Josh Groban's serene voice in the background. I think I'm having one of those emo moods right now ;)Two of my patients today, have lost their husbands to brain tumor.One of them had lost both her mother and her husband, 6 hours apart. One passed away on New Year's Eve and the other just moments later, on New Year's.The other, was 'discouraged' and wanted to give up the battle.I forbid her to think of that. And she broke down and wept.As much as I'd like to intercept and make a joke as to why I always seem to get the emotional patients, I do not think it is appropriate here...Not when you have someone telling you they don't want to go on with life...And you, with hardly a year of experience in dealing with suicidal patients, are trying your very best not to quiver and falter at this point, because you want her to see there is light at the end of the tunnel... and there is help along the way. She lost her husband a few years ago, and has recently been diagnosed with rheumatic arthritis (a painfully progressive disease). To top it off, she has a 75 year old weak mother to take care off and two difficult teenage daughters. She remarked tearfully, but candidly, "It's easy for you because you are not in my shoes".Upon hearing the words which are undoubtedly the truth, I agreed with her.I stroked her thigh and said "I do not understand how you feel, but I want you to know, that we are always here for you if you need to talk"And that's all I could say.After a few moments, the tears dried up. And she promised she wouldn't do anything silly nor think of letting go.I heaved a sigh of relief. I just hope somewhere during the conversation, I said something that might/will have made a difference in her life. Hopefully, a life-lasting one.
her
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her ALIBIS
9:36 AM;;
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
A mum requests for psychotherapy for her two pre-adolescent daughters.So, we write in a referral to a psychologist for that.Reason being? Her husband has been manipulating her kids, she says."You're a failure" he shouts at his own children. "You'll never do well". "You're useless".The mum is very worried, because he is imparting his own 'demoralising' values and insecure personality into his kids' minds. Each time he does that, the mum tries to undo and counter-act those thoughts so the kids don't develop an inferiority complex. Or worse still, the fear of trying... the fear of making mistakes and learning....The same depressed minister came again.He cried on me."Now, don't cry on me now", I softly whisper and I whipped out some Kleenex tissues for him to dry the tears away. The very same advice my mum gave to me, I hear myself repeating to him."We all have our self-doubts. But it's up to us to either wallow in self-pity or we can choose to fight it" "You have to love yourself first""You have to trust yourself that you will get better from here. Don't let the negative thoughts take control of you, you will tell yourself that you will beat this."And he says, "My wife says the exact same thing. You seem to identify with me"And I secretly think to myself, thanks mummy for always drilling that into me. Now I've turned into a tape recorder, spitting out the exact words you constantly put into my head during all those years.Paying attention to the naggy lectures in the car pays off eh ma? ;) hehehe.
*muacks*
Depression is a silent torturer.
If you feel down for no reason being, seek help. Seek support.
3/4 of my patients are on antidepressants.
her
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her ALIBIS
10:49 AM;;
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
I love it when my patients who are scared of needles say to me afterwards,"That was fast. I didn't even feel a thing. You're good" :)I used to worry if I'd cause them pain. Especially the little feisty, kicking ones.---Today I met a 16 year old girl who is 16 weeks pregnant. She was about my size and very pretty.She expressed fear and worry over everything. I nodded but I would never understand how she feels. She's alone, the father of the baby - she doesn't see anymore. But thankfully, she's got one pillar by her side- her own mother.I sensed her uncertainty over her own future and the baby's... and I felt she revealed a tinge of regret over her past actions...Despite her mistake, who am I to judge her?
She realises it too when she tells me, she fought with her sister- literally they beat each other up, because her 15 year old sister is now sleeping with an 18 year old high school dropout 'punk'.I just hope history doesn't repeat itself twice in that family.Still, I admire her for her courage - she's my second sister's age, yet she is even stronger than I am in more ways than one.
her
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her ALIBIS
11:25 AM;;
Monday, January 28, 2008
It's much easier to preach than to practise.I always say to my patients 'You shouldn't worry over things you cannot control'It's never easy. Especially when it's your own loved one who's at a fragile age.
her
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7:40 AM;;
Daddy's birthday is coming.Boy- is he going to be in for a surprise when he gets his envelope parcel :)It's filled with nicotine gum... I'm hoping he's going to give it a try :)
her
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3:56 AM;;
I have been scratching my neck/shoulder from the allergic rash.And my face is edematous.All thanks to A.L.C.O.H.O.L. - I only drank one cocktail. And see the nasty side effects...Henceforth, ice water shall be my companion... everytime I step foot into any eatery/pub/bar.Lunch today, Lindsey invited me to join the whole family for dim sum at China Classic.I wasn't going to turn down any dim sum for sure ;) So I went there with the whole family and met up with 2 other Spanish families :)And I satisfied myself with :- Har Gau (shrimp dumpling). Siew Mai (pork dumpling). Char Siew Bao. Yam puff (they call it taro wrap here- go figure?). Turnip rice (lo bak kou). Fried wonton. Spring roll (the kuai los' favourite). What a yummy lunch! :)A note to control future hunger pangs- my face is getting rounder!
her
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her ALIBIS
3:48 AM;;
Sunday, January 27, 2008
My two friends drank like it was water.And then, they visited the toilet like it was a friend.And then, they both couldn't walk straight.The youngest ciku of them all had to hold them close ;) And keep an eye on both of 'em. Cos the youngest stayed sober :)Of course, a quarter the night was spent dozing off when the alcohol went straight to my head.I learn something new everyday.Today I figured out what 'pop my cherry' means... after drawing much embarrassing laughter from Sam, Rayleen and Kien Ji when I said to Rayleen : You can take my cherry All the figurative lingo. Why don't they just go straight to the point?
her
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her ALIBIS
2:45 PM;;
