and when she speaks
Saturday, August 16, 2008
*addendum* This article only refers to a subgroup. I have over the years, had fantastic guy friends who have been nothing but absolute gems and the perfect gentlemen. *thank you* and you know who you are :)I do wonder about all the guys I meet.
I am beginning to believe all boys are the same; whether they're doctors or not, that does not make a slight difference.
They push their luck in seeing how far they can get a girl into bed. I mean I am not surprised sex takes up a huge chunk of their minds, but hey, seriously, must you be that quick and I would go as far as to say, desperate?
And you know what happens when I sense that?
I back off- and they'll never hear from me again, because my impressions of them totally skyrocket down.
I'm beginning to wonder if there's a guy who is really sincere in wanting to know you? Yeah, I thought as much. I've been told by a guy friend 'That's just Bullshit. Any guy who says that is bulls***ing you and is obviously lying. Every guy just wants to get a girl into bed.'
It's true. But those brought up in kuai lo countries seem to be more like that. More upfront. They do that way earlier in the 'game'. Whereas I find, chee kei yan is less so.
I do question if I can have a perfectly mutual respectful close friend - kind of relationship with guys?
There is always a line to be drawn and I certainly believe that as a girl, you have to draw that line from day one.
At the back of my mind, I wonder if you are for real or you are also after that one thing and that ONE thing ONLY?
I've met one who, only after a year of being all wonderful and gentleman-like, his true colours came out- and I saw how despicable he really was. Not that he did anything to hurt me, but his actions ... - I have no more respect for him. Mind you, he's a doctor.
Of course, never let your guard down and never put yourself in compromising positions, ever.
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2:09 PM;;
Friday, August 15, 2008
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10:13 AM;;
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10:07 AM;;
I'm working at the STD clinic.STD or STI - Sexually Transmitted Infections/Diseases.When I was 12, I was busy dancing on stage, laughing with girlfriends in school, cracking jokes at ourselves, cherishing my childhood with innocence and naivety and fun.Teenagers here have sex at 12, doing blow jobs on each other in their early teens, going around getting drunk on alcohol and high on drugs, sleeping around with multiple partners-not realizing the consequences that will hit them in the very next few years.So a guy comes in - he's my age, unbeknown to him- with 'everything on my penis'The interview didn't go so well, simply because he's not very 'bright'; ie he's a terribly poor historian, to put it tactfully.So we took a look at his penis and found various huge growing verrucous (cauliflower-like) warts from HPV and numerous painful ulcers on his shaft.We had to burn the warts off with liquid nitrogen- basically you freeze it til' it falls off. Then, we had to scrape off the ulcer til' you get to the base which by that time, has already bled a little - to do a herpes virus PCR.Took all the blood we needed to test for syphilis, HIV, Hep B. And I had to swab inside his penis to get a Gonorrhea swab and a urine sample for Chlamydia- the two most common STIs. Obviously, the swab wasn't all that nice since it goes inside your urethra (the opening for urine to come out)It amazes me how kids are so nonchalant when it comes to having sex without condoms. There are so many things to fear- unnecessary risks which they take brazenly. Unwanted pregnancy, STDs, infertility, chronic pelvic pain, HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis B --> liver cancer, recurrent painful ulcers that will never ever ever leave you- to name the few.I know Asians are somewhat less open when it comes to talking about sex- even though these past few years have seen a rise in practising sex at a much younger age and being more carefree in sleeping around casually.I have no qualms if you intend to continue doing so, however, I urge you to please please practise safe sex. Oral contraceptives can prevent pregnancy -no doubt, but they don't protect you from STIs. Use a condom when you have sex. It's the only way you can protect yourself. The most common scenario here is when they don't use a condom simply because it's with their girlfriend/boyfriend. But guess what? It's never so perfect all the time.One 25 year old good-looking guy came in, he only sleeps with his one girlfriend. And he works out at sea- recently he came back and had unprotected sex with his girlfriend and no one else...A week later, he has got purulent painful discharge leaking out from his penis, and burning pain when he pees... It was today in clinic when the painful realization that his girlfriend cheated on him whilst he was away at work came upon him. He was shattered, you could tell.My heart broke for him. But there was nothing we could say to make him feel any better. He had to pay the price for his girlfriend's sexual innuendos... Even though, usually it's the other way around.Mind you, you can never be a 100% certain about your partner's sexual status.Hence, the both of you should get tested. And start afresh.If you are a female and have been having sex, even if it's your first, I urge you togo for pap smears regularly- once every year. It's not too painful, it's uncomfortable but it saves lives- I've performed so many on young teenagers to older women.You don't want to have a vulvar (vaginal) cancer. I have seen enough being on the Gynecology Oncology ward... They pay a very very painful price having biopsies done without any local anesthetic and the radiation treatment which ultimately fuses and closes up their arse holes and their vaginas... I have seen a vaginal cancer being recurrent for the 3rd time. She has no vagina. She only has a huge hole down there. It's bigger than a golf ball.Play it safe.Really, it's for your own good and peace of mind.
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9:12 AM;;
Monday, August 11, 2008
Today was random.I was at home, trying so hard to finish reading my Peds notes... when Diane called. So off we went for a beautiful walk on an absolutely gorgeous Sunday. We walked down to the Buskers Festival down by the harbor front. And ...we caught the breakdancers called the Illmatics. And they were superb. Well, their stunts are what you normally see with some fancy moves here and there- but what definitely stood out was the fact that they had two dancers with extremely short legs- one of them is a thalidomide baby; as most of you medical people would know- thalidomide was big in the 80s' for pregnant women who suffered from severe nausea- and the one big side effect unknown then was their babies would be born with short flipper like hands and legs. And this guy was one of them. The other one was born with a neuromuscular disease whereby his leg muscles have never developed and hence, he walks with crutches and his legs are as thin as a lidi-stick... Both of them awed all of us with their acrobatic moves- and their team is tremendously supportive of them-both of them were named the 'stars' of the team even though the other dancers were as good. Loved it. Also loved the dancer who was also the MC for their team- he was so cute, and so funny, and such a great dancer! He definitely got the crowd going with his witty funny upbeat remarks. *swoon*And then I went off to Sobeys for my grocery shopping. Boy- was it weird! One guy - tall, fair-skin kuai lo tapped on my shoulder and I turned around. He asked me 'Hi, I know this is weird, but can I ask you out on a date?' I was obviously taken aback. and Still Shocked. Never in my life has I seen him before- except maybe when I walked into Sobeys, I might have caught a glimpse of him-even then..... I think after a brief silence, I mentioned an 'erm..and NO'He continued; 'I know... But you know how you have that one look and you just know it could be...''And then I just thought why not give it a shot? You only have one shot in life'I was still ... shocked.Then I snapped out of it. And said 'I applaud you for your courage.'Man... is my defence mechanism-intellectualism? Using words at a time like this... but seriously, it was true, I wasn't going to argue- he said you only have one shot in life- and why not?So I said I admired his guts.Poor guy. I might have re-considered...- 'might' have (then again, I highly doubt it)- if thoughts of me staying here for only 6 more weeks didn't continuously flash through my head like a glaring lightbulb...He said 'Hey it's alright if you say No. It's just a date'.Yes, but I don't know who the heck you are. And of all places, here- when I am buying my groceries??? Super random...I said 'I'm sorry. I just don't.'He said 'Thanks'. I did too.---
Shoutout to Diane. Thank you to your mum and auntie for their marinated bugogi and shrimp congee =) I'm saving it for special nights when I come back exhausted and looking forward to home-cooked meal ;)
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5:23 AM;;
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Today's Saturday and here I am, in the Pediatrics Emergency Ward with my very last shift!We had two cases of vomiting yesterday, both with unusual diagnoses.Sadly, we diagnosed one of them with a brain cancer in a 2 year old boy. The nurses had a gut feeling that 'he just didn't look right'. True enough, when the CAT scan results came back, it showed a tumor in the posterior aspect of his brain. Mum was heavily pregnant with her second baby, and the nurses told each other to keep an eye on her whilst my doctor ahd to break the news to both mum and dad. They were afraid she might go into premature labor.In that one day by itself, it was a day of interesting unexpected, atypical disorders you rarely ever see.In that one day, we had a malaria patient, extremely rare over here. A newly diagnosed brain tumor in a 2 year old. An Addison's disease whereby due to lack of a hormone, the patient progressively becomes more bronze/brown in color- but his parents were totally unaware and brushed it off as being tanned easily...! In an 8 hour shift. And of course, the usual cases you see-constipation, lacerations, falls, fevers,etc...It was so sad. When we all saw the tumor in the poor boy's brain. They were about to leave here for their hometown by plane far away, but that obviously had to be postponed.We see these things everyday. But we never get used to it. Of people being diagnosed with cancer. They say you get jaded. But I haven't seen it here yet.A new friend I met recently, said this during a conversation we had during lunch today; 'I always believe in living in the present- we are not immortal.'How very true.
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6:06 AM;;
